i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize