I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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