note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
