tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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