Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
