Don't you send me to vm
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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