Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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