u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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