Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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