I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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