when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
