can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Im part way to drunk.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
