i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just puked most of my soul out..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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