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Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize