new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it glows. i had to have it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
