xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I will be naked everywhere
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
