Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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