How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
whose parrot is this?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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