pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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