You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
