sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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