I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
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did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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