I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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