fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
