So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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