I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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