she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
