i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
