is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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