I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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