Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
