Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
