the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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