If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
