my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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