We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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