ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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