got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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