im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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