The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
