it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?