my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.