Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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  (902): yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting http://tfl.nu/sy3h
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (3287)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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  (334): I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around. http://tfl.nu/tfd4
  Replies (12) Good night (1579) Bad night (4898)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.

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  (303): he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie. http://tfl.nu/hge8
  Replies (31) Good night (1951) Bad night (7032)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here

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  (515): Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here http://tfl.nu/owjx
  Replies (12) Good night (4500) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Happy Birthday

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  (541): I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry. (1-541): Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/2hsd
  Replies (14) Good night (3583) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

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  (508): Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it http://tfl.nu/y6rt
  Replies (16) Good night (4314) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am the drunkest girl in the tree.

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  (484): I am the drunkest girl in the tree. http://tfl.nu/zje1
  Replies (15) Good night (10377) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.

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  (403): Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night. (1-403): I am now curious as to how you would have aimed. http://tfl.nu/wkgz
  Replies (10) Good night (2483) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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  (732): I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty http://tfl.nu/54ho
  Replies (11) Good night (764) Bad night (1376)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.

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  (678): Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary. http://tfl.nu/nvwp
  Replies (17) Good night (4808) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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  (205): After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis. http://tfl.nu/x2c8
  Replies (4) Good night (1959) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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  (970): I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse http://tfl.nu/rdry
  Replies (22) Good night (1042) Bad night (2269)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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  (360): You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal. (1-360): I'm puking in a turkey pan.... http://tfl.nu/y4jv
  Replies (6) Good night (1095) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (7) Good night (1688) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok

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  (609): I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok http://tfl.nu/nqil
  Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (499)

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