dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?