More tranny stories later!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night