I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
