Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
handjob tips. give me some.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
