did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize