Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
