There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
