mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Randomize
