this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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