sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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