He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
