So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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