Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
