i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
