lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
