The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
