im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
