I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
