i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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