Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
