need another drink. this is the easiest way
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
