Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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