Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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